15 Signs The Guy You're Dating Isn't The Woke Bae He Thinks He Is

So, you think you've found the perfect guy - he says all the right things, wears the right clothes, and seems to be up on all the latest social issues. But is he really as woke as he claims? It's important to pay attention to warning signs that might indicate otherwise. Check out this article for some tips on how to spot the real deal and avoid getting played: dating success.

Dating in the modern world can be a minefield, especially when it comes to finding someone who aligns with your values and beliefs. Many of us are looking for a partner who is not only attractive and fun to be around, but also socially aware and conscientious. You may have thought you hit the jackpot when you met a guy who seemed to embody all your ideals of a "woke bae," but as time goes on, you start to notice some red flags that make you question whether he's truly as enlightened as he seems.

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Here are 15 signs that the guy you're dating isn't the woke bae he thinks he is:

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1. He dismisses your experiences

You find that when you try to share your experiences as a woman or a person of color, he downplays or dismisses them, saying things like "I don't think it's that bad" or "I've never seen that happen."

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2. He refuses to educate himself

Despite being confronted with issues of inequality and injustice, he shows no interest in educating himself on the topic and remains willfully ignorant.

3. He's defensive when confronted

Whenever you bring up a sensitive topic, he becomes defensive and shuts down the conversation, making it clear that he's not open to having his beliefs challenged.

4. He lacks empathy

He seems to be unable to empathize with people who are different from him and shows little concern for the struggles of marginalized communities.

5. He makes offensive jokes

He thinks it's okay to make jokes about race, gender, or other sensitive topics, even after you've expressed discomfort with them.

6. He only cares about his own image

He seems more concerned with looking like a "good guy" than actually doing the work to be a better ally and advocate for social justice.

7. He doesn't support your activism

When you engage in activism or speak out about important issues, he either dismisses it as unnecessary or doesn't offer any support.

8. He's resistant to change

He shows little interest in unlearning harmful behaviors or adjusting his perspectives, preferring to stick to his outdated beliefs.

9. He's ignorant of his privilege

He fails to recognize the ways in which he benefits from systems of oppression and refuses to acknowledge his own privilege.

10. He's performative

He participates in social justice actions or posts on social media, but it feels more like a performance than genuine activism.

11. He's resistant to feedback

When you try to offer constructive criticism or feedback, he becomes defensive and dismissive, unwilling to consider that he might be in the wrong.

12. He's selective in his allyship

He only seems to care about certain social justice issues that directly affect him, rather than taking a holistic approach to advocacy.

13. He's insensitive to your experiences

He fails to understand or validate your experiences of discrimination or marginalization, leaving you feeling unheard and unsupported.

14. He centers himself in conversations

He tends to make discussions about social justice all about him, rather than centering the voices of those who are directly affected by the issues.

15. He refuses to take action

Despite being aware of social injustices, he shows little interest in taking tangible action to make a difference, preferring to remain passive.

What to Do If You Notice These Signs

If you find that your partner exhibits several of these signs, it's important to have an open and honest conversation about your concerns. Express your feelings and provide specific examples of when his behavior has made you feel uncomfortable or unheard. It's possible that he may not be aware of the impact of his actions, and a thoughtful conversation can lead to greater understanding and growth.

However, if he continues to dismiss your concerns or shows no willingness to change, it may be a sign that he's not the woke bae you thought he was. In that case, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and consider whether this relationship aligns with your values and needs. Remember, you deserve a partner who respects and supports you in all aspects of your life.